Fearing Marriage
I’m not here to talk Sunday School theology with you. I’m not here to give you the Bible answers on everything. I know, from a Christian perspective, marriage is a good thing given by God as a sacred institution. I know that there are countless benefits and many cute kids that can come from these unions. I don’t want to talk doctrine with you.
I’m going to get personal about my fears with marriage. *Cue gasps of horror and shrieks of terror and cats running into garbage cans off-screen*
Is This… It?
I’ll state my main issue plainly. I don’t like the marriages that I’ve seen. I don’t want to be a part of the quality of marriages I’ve been able to observe.
I’m not even talking about the scars that come from having divorced parents because I’ve never experienced that. My parents love each other and have been married for decades. However, as a side note, I’ve known many AWESOME Christians who have gotten divorced… and that’s hard to handle. That is a lesser fear of mine, but not the focus here.
No, I’m talking about marriages that lose their shine. Marriages that lose their passion. Husbands and wives devolve into “good friends” that learn to live with each other like dorm roommates. Couples become almost brothers and sisters with the occasional romantic flair a few times a year (weird visual, but it works for me so I’ll roll with it).
The focus is almost always on their careers or their children. They lose sight of each other and become coworkers trying to achieve common or separate goals. I don’t want that.
If I wanted to live with good friends, coworkers, or with “family” (actual family or close friends) for the rest of my life, I could do that and enjoy myself immensely. However, that’s not what I want when it comes to MARRIAGE.
I want someone to be more than that for the rest of my life. Best friends? Absolutely. Romantic lovers? Of course (with a winky face). Spiritual adventurer buddies? Yes, please. Judge, jury, and executioner? Comes with the territory*. Could I keep going with these annoying rhetorical questions? All day, everyday.
Simply put, I want someone who will make me the most important person in her life forever. Why? Because I’ll do the same. That’s not to say that there won’t be other important people in our lives… it’s just that we both know who matters most and we show it.
I guess that’s it. Husbands and wives eventually just aren’t that important to each other unless the occasion calls for it (trips down memory lane, anniversaries, the moment one person wants something from the other, etc.). Something else eventually becomes more important, and the marriage is just there; the same way my desk exists in my room. It’s useful and I’m happy I have it; I just only think about it when I need to for some practical reason.
I don’t want a marriage like that.
*That was a joke.
